Oh, how I envy our forefathers and sisters whereby a break-up consisted of finalizing a separation and asking someone not to call them anymore. “I won’t answer any of your calls or reply to any of your letters” seems almost hilarious in our modern world whereby almost everyone is instantaneously reachable via Facebook, Twitter, email or SMS. I am thoroughly grateful for advances in technology which have revolutionized social interaction. The only hiccup I have encountered is what happens when your social media world becomes so entangled in that of your significant other's that separating them is a tricky process.
The world of social media runs alongside our own “reality” as a parallel universe. Ask yourself how many times you say Facebook, refer to Facebook or use Facebook a day and the results are shocking. Facebook is like a personal billboard whereby you have license to portray yourself, your likes/dislikes, your relationship status and your recent antics for your chosen Facebook world to tap in to and view. A problem I have encountered is that of break-ups and social media: a new phenomenon for our generation which makes announcing a breakup almost as traumatic as the break-up itself.
Our good old friend, Life, created time and space as a means of dealing with break-ups. Space allows for reflection and for dealing with emotions and heart-ache related to the loss of your significant other. Time runs in tandem with space allowing for regrowth and acceptance of the situation. In this new era of social media, space is almost eliminated as that person is constantly still featured in your life-be it on your homefeed or Twitterfeed. There is nothing quite as debilitating as stalking an ex-partner's page and constantly being reminded of old times and old feelings and living in a time warp whereby the chance of moving forward is limited.
Is making a “clean-break” ever possible in the world of social media? Break-ups can be bitter, angry affairs and one does not want to antagonize things any further. Is it acceptable for the person to delete/block the other from Facebook, to unfollow them on Twitter and to delete their Whatsapp? Is this a slap in the face or just self-preservation? Does the person have an option if they are genuinely looking to progress emotionally and avoid unnecessary hardship? Because no matter how “over them” you are, seeing statuses such as “Drunk and out with the lads/gals”, viewing their recent photos or checking who they have recently added is only going to add to your post-relationship blues. Staying friends on Facebook can also create a kind of post-relationship rivalry whereby both parties try to appear like they are completely okay in the aftermath of the break-up. Or, adversely, a whole load of statuses about how depressed one is which can make your ex-partner feel like a complete and utter asshole.
The overall conclusion I have drawn is that deleting someone from Facebook, at least for a period of time, is almost the only way to ensure that you deal with your feelings surrounding the break-up instead of dwelling on the apparent life of your ex-partner. Apparent being the operative word as Facebook can all too easily be manipulated to reflect a false representation of life. Facebook is forgiving-you can always add them back at a later date. The only thing one can do is avoid unwarranted hassle and hardship and keep them “out of sight and out of mind”: at least for the time being and to a certain extent in the social-media world. Your social media universe will probably be a lot more peaceful as a result.
And in the meantime, hit up Lolcats. That makes everything better.
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