French Faux Pas - Language Learning

In the multi-lingual world in which we live, learning another language is encouraged across the board. The advantages are heralded by all and range from: the ability to communicate with someone from a different linguistic background, increased attractiveness as a candidate for a job with international clients, opportunities to work as a translator, travel opportunities and better cognitive abilities and memory recall in old age.

What is not to love?

However, no one talks about the downsides of learning a language. By these, I mean the embarrassing moments when you can’t find your words, say something completely inappropriate or just have no idea what is going on. The reality is that learning a language can bring a lot of joy but also a lot of frustration, particularly if you feel that you can’t express yourself properly in your adopted language.

With this is mind, I thought I would expand on the other things that you learn whilst learning a language. And here they are..

1. Humility

Merriam-Webster defines humility as “the quality or state of not thinking you are better than other people: the quality or state of being humble”. By a certain age, most of us are able to fully express ourselves without much error in our maternal tongue. Language can also be used as a tool of domination, persuasion and argumentation. A mastery of your maternal tongue will often give you a greater ability to fully express your points, feelings and expressions. In the initial stages of learning a language, you lose a lot of this. Your brain might be thinking of something truly intellectual and awe-inspiring, you will try to say this in the language you are learning and it will come across as really.. babyish.

And that can be frustrating.

If you are someone who is used to actively participating in conversations and debate, this will teach you a new side of yourself. To be passive in a discussion, to listen to others and to ruminate over what has been said is an invaluable learning (and humbling) experience.  Humility also comes in the ability to laugh at yourself when you have made a mistake.  One time, instead of saying ‘baisser” which means to lower, I accidently slipped over the s to say "baiser" instead, which to say the least was pretty awkward. Although these moments can be painfully embarrassing, learning to recover from them is like chewing on a big tasty piece of humble pie.

2. Vulnerability

Learning a language exposes a vulnerability that may surprise you. It is difficult to convey confidence when you have your trainer-language-wheels on, particularly if you are having difficulties applying the correct vocabulary and grammar or have a thick accent. You are relying on the kindness and the help of others to be patient with your bumbling attempts, help you with your struggle and/or guide you on the right path. This is an art in itself. Some people are naturally very good at encouraging a new language-learner. Some others are not as forthcoming. One piece of advice I would give to anyone who is approached by someone trying to speak their language is to allow the person to try to speak to you. Don’t immediately switch to the language you think is their mother tongue unless you absolutely must or the other person requests to do so. Not only does it undermine their efforts but it discourages them from trying in the future. And unless you are very friendly with the person and can assure yourself that it will be taken as a joke, DO NOT mimic someone's accent.

3. Appreciation

Communicating with others is something we take for granted. We’ve been brought up being able to speak and make ourselves understood. Learning another language throws that in to disarray. Suddenly, asking for something as simple as a coffee can become an ordeal.

And it doesn’t stop there.

As you make your way up the linguistic ladder the stakes become higher. Navigating your way through opening a bank account, organizing a phone plan and paying bills all require a particular language level that can leave you second-guessing yourself. But these experiences teach you a new found appreciation for the ease of speaking in your maternal tongue. And the ground work you must put in to improve your language level teaches you an appreciation for the language you are learning.

4. Interaction

Learning a language opens up your interaction with others of that language in a way that never would be otherwise possible. Barbara Cassin in her book "Plus d'une Langue" wrote that speaking another language is like tapping in to the culture, history and customs of that language that are hidden to the naked.. non linguist. I find that people appreciate your attempts to speak their language and often will open up to you in an unprecedented way. Making an effort shows that you are respectful to their culture.

5. Expression

Freed from the monotony of daily mother tongue chit-chat, learning a language can offer the opportunity to get creative with your expression. Can’t remember a word? Describe it using other words. Can’t get the words out? Try hand signals. It’s like Charades-or Pictionary without the drawing. Or with the drawing- it really depends on the resources at your disposal. And for more advanced language learners, try experiment with proverbs, slang and funny expressions that don’t exist in your own language. GO WILD.

Some of my favourite sayings are;

• Donner de la confiture aux cochons:

Literal Meaning : to give jam to pigs
Actual meaning: giving something of value to someone who doesn’t appreciate it.

 

• Engueuler  comme du poisson pourri :

Literal meaning : Talking like a rotten fish
Actual meaning : Talking badly usually with curse words.

 

• Meuf

Literal meaning : Slang term for girl like ‘chick’ or ‘bird’
Actual meaning : Pronounced like “muff” which I still believe must be some elaborate prank by the Gods of Language. 

 

• Cabinet d’avocat

Literal Meaning: an avocado practice
Actual meaning:  law practice/firm.

 

• Email renforcé

This usually features on packets of toothpaste. Renforcé means strengthened and the first time that I saw it, I thought that toothpaste had evolved so much that it could also reinforce your online emails. I was bitterly disappointed when I realized that "email" is actually "enamel". A girl can dream...

 

 

 

WHAT I GLEANED FROM 2015

• Making friends with as many people across the world means you always have accommodation whenever you decide to travel.
  
  

• Finding a great mooting partner is like finding true love.

• Rejection is part of life and not all rejection is bad. Sometimes, people can see what you can’t see and are doing you a favour by turning you down.

• 22 is too young to freak out about your future success.

• Internships are an excellent way to figure out what you like.

• Internships are an excellent way to figure out what you dislike.

• YES ALWAYS to facepaint.

• YES ALWAYS to mind maps.

• If you get enough sleep, eat well and exercise, the rest will take care of itself.
  
  

• I have no idea what the rest consists of.

• Moving countries takes a lot of physical and emotional energy.

• Ryanair has become significantly more attractive since they removed their “only one item of hand luggage” rule.

• Putting your electric toothbrush in the dishwasher to clean it is not a good idea.

• People are a lot less scary and a lot more open to impromptu conversation with a stranger than I thought.

• Etsy is an excellent forum for customized gifts.

• Scented candles make everywhere more appealing.

• You never know when you’ll need to ask a favour so don’t burn bridges.

• Cheap wine is never a good idea.

• Everyone loves cookies - cookies create world peace.

• Note to self: make more cookies. Distribute amongst the masses.

• Siblings are probably the only ones with whom you have the longest shared history. This is both comforting and time efficient when trying to explain something.

• Parents are great people. Flawed people. But great people.

• Marriage equality is wonderful.

• Ireland is an excellent place to explore, even when you are from there.

• Incorporating one or two vegan recipes in to your weekly meals is good for you, good for your pocket and good for the environment.

• If at first you don’t succeed (with your driving test) try and try again until you eventually succeed.

• Rock your accent even when people make fun of it.

• Finding good make-up that suits your skin tone is an essential hunter/gatherer skill.

• The Simpsons say you don’t make friends with salad. I have happened to make lots of friends with salad.

• It is important to invest in good underwear, good shoes, a good winter coat and a good frying pan that doesn’t stick. 

• Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is GOD.

• Be wary that no one will understand your conversation with your best friends.

• If you are thinking you haven't spoken to someone in a while, act immediately and send them a message. 

• Recycling gives me a strange sense of satisfaction and organization.

• Fluctuat nec Mergitur.

• Tell people they are cool if you think they are cool.

• Shower-cries are a perfectly acceptable mode of self-expression.

• How to gym ; Pick a friend. A reliable friend. Go to the gym with that friend. Work out a gym schedule with that friend.  Track progress with friend. Congratulate friend. Bask in productivity with friend.

• Graduating is not scary. It’s the period AFTER graduation when things start to get interesting.

• You never know when you might become a refugee, so treat them with humanity.

• I owe a large part of my social life to Whatsapp/Facebook/Skype.

• There is no such thing as having too much toilet paper.

• You are never too busy to send a thank-you card.

• Handmade cards are the best cards.

• Health is wealth.

10 THINGS TO DO WHILST JOB HUNTING

The search for a job can be a daunting process, littered with rejections and many moments of convincing yourself that you will end up destitute with no food or money. However, it can also be a time of great self-discovery. Here are ten things you can do to boost your CV, stay sane and enjoy your free time whilst you track down that job.

     1.   Duo that Lingo

Learning a language is an excellent use of free time. For anyone who hasn’t heard of it, the FREE app “Duolingo” aims to give you just that in bite size pieces. It offers a range of languages from Spanish, French, German, Dutch, Italian, Russian, Polish and even Irish to name but a few (for a full list see here.) It caters for beginners to the more advanced linguists and is an excellent way to brush up on the basics for those who are rusty in the grammar department. It tests in all aspects of the language including written, spoken, comprehension and grammar. It has some rocking sound effects when you succeed in a section and tracks your fluency progress in percentage that can be uploaded to your LinkedIn profile. As this is an app which requires you to speak, it is not one that you can easily use on the bus so I would advise to use it in the comfort of your own batcave. To top it all off, it helps the WORLD and doesn’t have any annoying promo advertisements. If you don’t believe me, watch this Ted Talk, download the app and bask in the knowledge that you are helping mankind one translation at a time.

    2.   Speak English Good

Elevate is another FREE app which increases your level in English and is an excellent tool for English mother tongue speakers who are looking to iron out common grammatical errors and improve vocabulary. It takes less than 10 minutes a day to complete three randomly selected games that test you in syntax, grammar, written, listening, vocabulary and maths (the maths section is to help you add and divide at greater speed.  It is an absolute gem if you are a waiter and need to quickly divide bills for clients). The games are actually….fun. It is very well designed, keeps track of your progress and lets you know how you are competing against other Elevate users. Again, this is an app which sometimes requires sound so it isn’t easily usable in public but it does give you the option to switch games to one which doesn’t require sound. The one annoying thing about this app is it harasses you to upgrade to the pro version, which costs money. If you operate with selective sight on the internet, which most of us do already, this shouldn’t impinge on your experience too much.

     3.   Excel in Excel

Most jobs require proficiency in Microsoft Word, Powerpoint and Excel. If you are a law graduate like me, you will have had reasonable exposure to Word and Powerpoint over the course of your degree. Or better yet, you may have completed your European Computer Driving License during your studies at school. Excel is the tougher one to nail down unless you have had practice with it. There are lots of tutorials on Youtube which walk you through the basics of Excel. I joined a recruitment agency which offered free Excel training in their offices. I can’t say it was the most exhilarating experience of my life, but knowing that I can correctly input, formulate and design a graph/chart/table that is so beautiful it would make baby Jesus cry (with joy) definitely does make me a more attractive prospective employee. Some recruitment agencies offer this training for free so it is definitely worth enquiring about. Overall, it took me five days of three hours each (so 15 hours in total) to complete the training.

     4.  Perfect your CV

The road to employment is often a longer journey than one would have originally thought. A lot of companies go through recruiters or recruitment agencies which meet with you first before proposing your candidature to the company. This invariably takes a lot more time. Recruitment agencies often skill test you as well. In my case, I had tests in English and French as well as online tests for Microsoft Office. This is how I recognized that my Excel proficiency needed work so the tests are an excellent way to identify your weaknesses and to do something to improve them.

Recruiters are invaluable in terms of their knowledge of a good CV and their knowledge of the market. It is important to listen as much as possible to their advice and to implement any modifications to your CV and to your interview technique. Often you will get contradictory advice in terms of CV structure but this is usually a personal preference and will change from recruiter to recruiter. In such cases, listen carefully and try to find the common points of the  given advice.  It can get a bit repetitive after a while but definitely meet as many recruiters as you can- chase them down and ask them as many questions as you can think of. Ironing out errors in your CV is crucial to securing the all-important interview.

      5.   Learn to Cook

Cooking is not, in my opinion, something which someone chooses to learn. It is a lifelong, necessary skill. It still baffles me the amount of people who say “Oh, I don’t cook” as if it is something to be proud of. In her Ted Talk , Chimamanda Ngozi said about cooking that she “never thought it made sense, to leave such a crucial thing, the ability to nourish oneself, in the hands of others”.

Whilst looking for a job, you more than likely don’t have that much money, so learning to cook is a cost effective way of nourishing yourself. You'll need to nourish yourself at least 2/3 times a day, every day, for the rest of your life, so learning how to do it well is a very good place to start.  The job hunt is also characterized by periods of free time, so you HAVE the time to look up recipes, buy in the ingredients and cook up a storm. There are tons of food blogs and recipes online. Two such blogs are As Told by Sorcha  and A Little Dishy  who serve up some easy-to-follow recipes with an extra helping of sass and veganism.

      6.   Get Cultured

The job hunt is a marathon and not a sprint. Often, it has long periods of free time, interspersed with intense bursts of interviews. It is important to keep your brain active and to stay involved, otherwise it is very easy to lose motivation. There are lots of free events and cultural evenings on around you. Most can be found online or on Facebook. Find something you are interested in or passionate about, bring a friend and go along! I’m located in Paris and love the information evenings held in the Maison des Métallos and the Spoken Word night in Au Chat Noir held every Monday night.

        7.   Stay Active

Whilst looking for a job, you won’t have that much money so a gym membership is out of the question. If you aren’t a runner (which I most definitely am not) it can be hard to continue a regular exercise pattern. BUT NEVER FEAR, THE INTERNET IS HERE! FitnessBlender do excellent FREE online workouts with no equipment save for an exercise/yoga mat which is a once-off buy between 3-10 yoyos.  My favourites: this and this one. 

        8.   Embrace Guilt-Free Fun

When you have a job you are usually too tired in the evenings or too busy to actually do the things you like to do. Often, you are so tired that you opt for the easy way to relax such as television. For me, reading is one of those things I like to do but that is hard to find time when I am working. Whilst looking for a job, relish the guilt-free time you have to kick back and indulge. If you aren’t a reader, it could be scrap-booking, blogging, fangirling over the Kardashians, binge watching TV shows, writing, painting, or just chilling out with friends.

  

         9.   Offer your Time

If you find yourself not knowing what to do with your free time, try get in touch with a local charity and get involved. It’s best to send them your CV and your availability so that they know where your skills lie and what you are interested in. Also, let them know that you are currently looking for a full time job. Charities too need due notice in terms of organizing their man power.

      

         10.  Don’t Despair

Rejection is never easy and it can be hard to keep the head up after being rejected from jobs. Keep reminding yourself that a big part of the process is finding a job that is right for you. Immediately after interviews, jot down the questions you were asked and your overall feeling from the interview. It is crazy what your gut instinct will tell you! Always ask for feedback from interviews. Sometimes employers pick up on habits that you did not know you even had. Interviewing is a skill just like anything else- the more you do the better equipped you are for the next one.  And always remember this . 

Social Media Break-Ups...

Oh, how I envy our forefathers and sisters whereby a break-up consisted of finalizing a separation and asking someone not to call them anymore. “I won’t answer any of your calls or reply to any of your letters” seems almost hilarious in our modern world whereby almost everyone is instantaneously reachable via Facebook, Twitter, email or SMS. I am thoroughly grateful for advances in technology which have revolutionized social interaction. The only hiccup I have encountered is what happens when your social media world becomes so entangled in that of your significant other's that separating them is a tricky process. 

The world of social media runs alongside our own “reality” as a parallel universe. Ask yourself how many times you say Facebook, refer to Facebook or use Facebook a day and the results are shocking. Facebook is like a personal billboard whereby you have license to portray yourself, your likes/dislikes, your relationship status and your recent antics for your chosen Facebook world to tap in to and view. A problem I have  encountered is that of break-ups and social media: a new phenomenon for our generation which makes announcing a breakup almost as traumatic as the break-up itself. 

Our good old friend, Life, created time and space as a means of dealing with break-ups. Space allows for reflection and for dealing with emotions and heart-ache related to the loss of your significant other. Time runs in tandem with space allowing for regrowth and acceptance of the situation. In this new era of social media, space is almost eliminated as that person is constantly still featured in your life-be it on your homefeed or Twitterfeed. There is nothing quite as debilitating as stalking an ex-partner's page and constantly being reminded of old times and old feelings and living in a time warp whereby the chance of moving forward is limited. 

Is making a “clean-break” ever possible in the world of social media? Break-ups can be bitter, angry affairs and one does not want to antagonize things any further. Is it acceptable for the person to delete/block the other from Facebook, to unfollow them on Twitter and to delete their Whatsapp? Is this a slap in the face or just self-preservation? Does the person have an option if they are genuinely looking to progress emotionally and avoid unnecessary hardship? Because no matter how “over them” you are, seeing statuses such as “Drunk and out with the lads/gals”, viewing their recent photos or checking who they have recently added is only going to add to your post-relationship blues. Staying friends on Facebook can also create a kind of post-relationship rivalry whereby both parties try to appear like they are completely okay in the aftermath of the break-up. Or, adversely, a whole load of statuses about how depressed one is which can make your ex-partner feel like a complete and utter asshole. 

The overall conclusion I have drawn is that deleting someone from Facebook, at least for a period of time, is almost the only way to ensure that you deal with your feelings surrounding the break-up instead of dwelling on the apparent life of your ex-partner. Apparent being the operative word as Facebook can all too easily be manipulated to reflect a false representation of life. Facebook is forgiving-you can always add them back at a later date. The only thing one can do is avoid unwarranted hassle and hardship and keep them “out of sight and out of mind”: at least for the time being and to a certain extent in the social-media world. Your social media universe will probably be a lot more peaceful as a result. 

And in the meantime, hit up Lolcats. That makes everything better. 

Diary of an Erasmus Student (France edition) Part I

Erasmus, they said. T’will be grand, they said. Little did we know as we boarded our plane with our 15 kilo Ryanair baggage with another five kilos of layers strategically fitted on to us what exactly we were getting ourselves in to. Now currently in my third of a fourth year degree, I thought that I had college life and more importantly, college REGISTRATION down pat. However, no manner of UCD online registration, of tutorial clashes, of program-office fights, of random emails sent to various members of faculty and of utter confusion had prepared us for the beast that is French administration. It appears that trying to do anything of importance in France requires an inordinate amount of documentation and without fail, proof of residence, proof of EU citizenship and passport pictures. Passport pictures everywhere. Never have I gone through so many passport pictures in such a short space of time. Two reams of passport pictures later and I now consider myself an expert in how to take the perfect passport picture that is not only flattering but also conforms to ID-appropriate dimensions. Truly a talent that is not mastered by many. That is one thing that I can definitely thank French administration for. That and Tyra Banks for mastering the smize.

Notwithstanding this incessant need for my face to be plastered on every document I sign my name to, is also the need to PROVE that you are a resident of France. Even availing of a student rate in the local swimming pool involves a declaration of residency, commonly known as an “attestation de domicile”. There was a week of my life where I just about carried around every item of important documentation with me in the likelihood that someone, somewhere, would ask me to produce it. If I had lost my bag I would genuinely not have an identity or any means to prove that I once did, in fact, have an identity. I fondly remember the time when I opened up a bank account in 5 minutes during fresher’s week in first year solely because I got some trivial, free thing in exchange. I managed to open up a bank account in Paris and basically needed therapy afterwards it was that stressful.

Registration has been the most intense registration period of my life (UCD online registration is a blessing in comparison). From having to sign a learning agreement (???) to sending it back and forth from home university to host university and having to obtain not one, not two, but THREE different stamps and signatures, I feel like I have somehow signed over everything to Nanterre, including my soul and my willpower to try to get my head around French administration. From the constant beating that French administration has given us (I speak of such solely in the hypothetical sense, that shit has been outlawed for years) I’ve come to this weird acceptance whereby I have admitted defeat and am ready to submit to the overlord that is bureaucracy in France. I have made peace with the French system and in return, it continues to baffle me, require me to produce proof of residency and constant selfies of myself. I guess I will learn to deal with it. 

Maybe one day, someday, very far in to the future, I will understand it. And we will ride above ground in to the sunset together on the wonderland of Paris metros.  <3 <3

PROCRASTINATION

PROCRASTINATION

A Student’s Guide

It’s that time again-study season. A season that creates mass panic, mass cramming, mass stress and mass procrastination. There’s nothing quite like exam-stress to force you in to a maddening bout of finding things that really don’t need to be done but suddenly MUST be done with a fervour that would have anyone suspect that you were the most diligent of workers in the world. It’s like once a book is produced that your eyes start wandering and then BAM they land on something remotely in need of a quick tidy/reorganizing/mass overhaul and you’re off. Except these stints are never quick, as I’ve come to realize. They can potentially consume an hour. They can potentially consume the whole day if needs be. It just depends how creative you can get with things...

If you look on the bright side of exam-season, I like to think of it as a “get-shit-done” phase (*NOTE the “shit getting done” does not include any study of any form). For instance, my room-usually an impenetrable fort of strewn clothes and general mess-is now a blissful oasis of organization. My desk has colour-coded sticky notes plastered in a Roman-style mosaic formation to remind me what exactly I should be doing every day. My socks are paired. PAIRED for Christ’s sake. It seems I have exhausted literally every avenue available to me to put off study and immerse myself in some other banal task.

As it appears, I am not the only one to be pulled in by the black-hole of procrastination. One friend has suddenly taken up leisurely strolls on the beach, another likes to send me Facebook pictures documenting how her studying is going.  As for me, I’ve decided to watch the whole series of Geordie Shore from the beginning, plus a healthy dose of The Valleys because nothing screams A+s all around than some seriously trashy tv-viewing.

As much as procrastinating is putting off what exactly you should be doing during reading week-studying-let’s not become too critical of it. I mean, you ARE doing something and that something is of worth in some minute part of your life. Probably very minute, at the very periphery of your existence but no matter. Your efforts are not in vain. You have successfully chosen the most inopportune time to spring-clean your wardrobe, paint your nails, read a completely irrelevant book and watch some wholly exam-unrelated material but fuck it, you will be the best dressed, most feng-shui and informed student on all trashy reality tv shows going walking in to that exam hall. There's more to life than exams and procrastination shows us that-there is quite literally, HEAPS of other things to do outside of exams and I plan to tackle every single one of them before I actually genuinely have to study. 

Poetry is for dweebs...

One would think that in a college-setting where everyone is supposed to be "finding themselves" and "exploring new  outlets" that poetry would be seen as something cool and expressive. However, speaking from experience, this doesn't seem to be the case. You can turn around to a stranger and tell them that you're a songwriter or a musician and be greeted with nodding heads and impressed smiles. You tell people that you write poetry and they begin thinking that you're a closet depressive with deep psychological issues. Think Emily Dickinson meets Adrienne Rich. Like most people, my poetry-exposure was largely limited to the leaving-cert curriculum where I started to attempt to write my own frantic musings and ideas. Once the leaving-cert became a distant memory, I ceased to write altogether. Life got in the way and writing again seemed all a bit too teenage-angsty and weird for my liking. 

It was in the midst of exam-stress at Christmas that the opportunity arose to take part in a workshop run by the poet Harry Cliffton and I decided to submit some very, VERY old poems of mine. Surprisingly, I managed to blag myself a spot and for four weeks, ten of us sat around a table and talked about everything from poets that inspired us, forms of poetry, types of poetry and even our own poetry all under the guidance of Mr. Cliffton himself. Admittedly, I was a little overwhelmed by it all at the start-being thrust back in to the world of poetry after an indefinite break and desperately trying to remember lines of poems that I had learnt off in my leaving-cert days to try to appear educated and read. Mostly, I just stayed silent and hoped that if I didn't make eye-contact, people would just think that I was pondering life and other poetical shit. 

The most nerve-wracking of all was having my poetry read and critiqued by the group. It's like allowing people to read little snippets from your mind and you're there, completely at their mercy, desperately hoping that they don't now think that you're a psychotic serial killer who is going to go all college-shooter on their asses in the near future. Having not written in so long it was so beneficial hearing people's feedback and having a panel of external readers give their own opinions and critiques of them. The group was so open and encouraging and gradually, I felt more comfortable expressing myself and offering opinions. 

I think the most shocking aspect of the whole thing was how interesting and diverse the group was. I had the incredibly stilted view that it was going to be a whole host of English students in hipster clothing discussing the futility of life. Instead, there were students from law, philosophy, social science and politics, all interested in poetry and all writing on an array of subject matter. Every week, I looked forward to reading their poems and be granted that momentary glimpse in to their minds of what they saw, what they sensed or what they experienced. 

And then the unexpected thing happened...I started to write again. And then things exploded and all of a sudden, I'm going to open-mic nights and poetry readings with these new found friends of mind who ALSO write poetry. It's like having a support group where you stand up and read your poetry to a sea of strangers, never having the fear of not being applauded because you have your little army of fans on your side.

Poetry may seem inaccessible, outdated and uncool but it's not so far removed from lyrics and rap that is so worshiped in modern-day culture. The name of our group is "The Skinny Cats" a.k.a, Harry's Hunzos, made up of young UCD-ers who write poetry and we are on a mission to prove that poetry can be cool too.