The Exam Bubble

For the past three weeks in the lead up to exams, I’ve existed a bubble. It’s hard to define but I’m sure any exam-student can relate. The pre-exam period represents an emotional, physical and general upheaval of everything a student has ever known and loved. Gone are the days of going-out midweek, skipping lectures and living in a carefree zone. Replacing them are hours spent in the library reading material you genuinely don't recall ever seeing before, frantically emailing friends and acquaintances for notes and a sharp increase in the amount of late-nights and early-mornings you face: but not for the reasons you would have liked.

I liken it to the seven stages of grief. The first stage is shock and denial. This is prevalent in the initial period when lecturers begin to refer to exams “drawing closer” or begin to cite things that would be helpful “for your revision”. There’s still enough time for you to convince yourself that you don’t need to study yet and that you'll be fine. 

Then comes the guilt. As the initial period of shock wears off and study still has not commenced, the shock is replaced with guilt. Suddenly, spending hours on Facebook gives you a sick feeling in your stomach that you are doing something inherently wrong. Going out becomes a dangerous undertaking, as if you are doing something you know you really shouldn't. However, this rarely constitutes enough of a push to compel the student to act. 

Anger fast ensues. As D-day draws closer and time is running out, guilt is replaced by anger. Suddenly, if someone refers to the fact that they’ve “started studying already” you begin to resent them and their willpower with every ounce of your being. You talk solely about what you need to cover, difficult topics and lecturers and complain violently about how you loathe all the aforementioned. You resent the fact that you have to do exams. You resent the fact that you are in college. Comfort eating can also play a huge role in this. Ben and Jerrys all around. 

Then depression sets in..As you realize that your days of freedom have come to an abrupt halt, depression is fast to ensue. 
Suddenly, when you think all hope is lost, the phase known as the “Upturn” begins. Whether it is from sheer fear or panic, this represents that day when you decide to get your act together. Books are bought, notes are organized, stationary comes out in full force.

It’s go time. 

The “working through” period is a direct response to the upturn. This usually involves drawing up a detailed study plan. Maybe with stars and glitters and highlighter pens. That’s when you know things just got serious. 

Lastly, there's acceptance. This is when you finally reconcile with the idea that it is now time to work. There’s no evading it any further. It is knocking on your door and if you don’t answer it, it’s going to leave a bag of dog-poo on your porch and set it on fire.…..

I don’t think any student worth their socks can walk away from exams without a serious caffeine addiction, a new-found appreciation for freedom and a revelation about the sheer amount of information one can digest by cramming alone. I found the exam-centre at the RDS the most telling of places for the various exam-student stereotypes. There are a few that exist and they are as follows:

1. The “Ad-Astra Do-Gooders”

They’re the ones that have been to every 9am lecture that you’ve had so far, or so you have been lead to believe, given that you’ve missed the majority of them. They also ask questions in lectures and answer all the questions in your tutorials. They arrive to the exam-centre at the exact time before entry to the exam-hall is permitted. They’ve no time to de distracted. They’ve come for one purpose and one purpose only: to attack the exam to within an inch of its 2-hour life. They are also categorized by the amount of pens they carry. I.e: the pen as the back-up of the back-up of the back-up.

2. The “All-Nighter Blighters”

These are probably the most striking of exam-takers for all the wrong reasons. They are recognizable by their grey complexions, dark, purple bags and that wild, I’ve-ingested-enough-caffeine-kill-a-small-deer look in their eyes. You get that deep sense of desperation when you pass them….and also probably a deep smell of something else as these people seem to forego all personal hygiene requirements for the benefit of the cause. They’re to be avoided at all costs. Unless you’re an Ad-Astra whizz kid whereby you can feel free to pass them and revel in your own self-worth.

3. “The “Ah Heck With It” Brigade

These are the trusty folk that you should befriend before an exam, if ever you feel a need for reassurance and comfort. They’re known for their constant refusal to revise or tolerate any questions in the immediate period prior to entering the exam hall. Their theory being, that what you know now, is what you will know when you’re in there. The typical, “ah well, they’re only exams” kind of crowd. They’re also known for referencing something external and world-related for no apparent reason, if only to make you aware of the wider problems in society rather than your own trivial blitherings about exams. I.E “Did you hear about the shootings in America? Wow, it really does make you think. There I was, stressing about exams and then you just realize what’s important”. The humanitarian, charitable kinds. Bless 'em.

4. The “Oh my God, I’m so fucked…when really I know everything” Wenches.

These folk are to be avoided at all costs prior to entering any exam hall. They are known for their ability to lull you in to a false sense of comfort in thinking that you’re all collectively fucked for the exam and therefore, everything will be ok. DO NOT BE FOOLED, FELLOW EXAM-TAKERS! These people are fakes. They are not your trusty, mediocre companion. They’re the secret-studiers of this world that SEEM mediocre when really they are excelling behind your back. Known for their willingness to join in the comforting mantra of “I’m going to fail” yet are still able to cohesively answer any question put to them. To be avoided if you have any nervous disposition at all.

5. The “No-Hopers”

Interestingly enough, these people are strangely comforting to be around prior exams. There’s something alluring about someone who has given up all hope, who has accepted fate and is at peace with what will happen…failure. They have a  kind of Jesus-like aura about them, almost like they're untouchable or walking on air. They’ve achieved some kind of enlightened state that only a select few manage to obtain. To care so little as to be completely and utterly unstressed.  If in any of the above categories, they are a welcome sight to be seen and an even more welcome conversationalist prior-exams. There's nothing quite as reaffirming as talking to someone who is in a worse position than you.

6. The “All I ask, is to pass” students.

These are a mixture of “ah heck with its” and crammers, although they appear to be a little bit more put-together than the crammers on the day. They represent the majority of the student-body and thus slip under the radar for the best part of the time.

Exams have finally, FINALLY drawn to a close. I have survived on very little sleep. I have survived on very little food and water. I have explored areas of my brain that I never even knew existed. I have pushed myself to the perimeters of my sanity and then maybe a little more. I feel like the bubble which I have been trapped in has been popped and deflated. The only thing is, I have deflated with it. One always expects some kind of euphoric sensation post-exams when you can smell the freedom - the taste of your old life slowly being fed back to you. However, I don’t seem to have gotten that. Although, that depends on your definition of “euphoric sensation”. If exhaustion counts as some state of enlightenment, then I guess I’m the next Buddha.